When Help Hurts

When Help Hurts

Just pop a thermometer under your spouse’s tongue and read the digital diagnosis: It’s a simple case of poor communication. Just say two, “I’m sorries,” and make sure you say, “I love you” tomorrow. Or, maybe you have a bad case of jealousy. Simply elevate your quality time for a week and you’ll be fine.

Wouldn’t it be great if diagnosing and fixing our relationship troubles were that easy?

A few months ago, my sister was enjoying the evening with her family when she began to have sharp stomach pain. After about 24 hours of hoping it was a bug and downing anti-acids, she consulted a doctor. The doctor suggested a couple things it might be, gave her some medicine and said to wait it out. The pain lingered and progressed for nearly a week. Finally, in desperation, her husband took her to the emergency room. Following an X-ray and a consult with a surgeon, it was determined that her appendix had burst several days before.

Kelsey was in critical condition and emergency surgery probably saved her life. Similarly, ignoring relationship issues, unexplained discomfort or signs of trouble can put a marriage in critical condition.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a potentially fatal issue and one best left to resolve itself. When it is necessary, addressing a problem and getting help can be scary. Certainly, confrontation is painful. Just like my sister’s surgery, the pain can be cutting and there is often a long recovery time. However, getting help leads to healing.

How do you know when it’s time to seek help for your relationship’s pain? SeattleChristianCounseling.com cautions against a “get help before it’s too late” mentality.

Marriage counseling offers a way to slow down and give attention to your marriage as it is, whether you are suffering from deep rifts that seem to deepen and widen every time you have an argument, or if you have specific problems that cause snags in your relationship that need to be addressed. Problems are a part of marriage. Every marriage has problems but they speak God’s design in marriage in order to help transform us. It is impossible to grow or mature without being challenged, and marriage is the path whereby two people become who they are meant to be in union with each other and in communion with God. Problems are the tools God uses to motivate us towards growth.”

There’s no need to fear pain but it is important to seek godly advice to promote healing.

Published on StartMarriageRight.com on July 19, 2012