Whatever It Takes

Whatever It Takes

How badly do you want to be thin? What would you trade? Would being thin make you ultimately happy – even if you don’t really believe that  - do you think that? Would life be easier, happier, more fun, (add an adjective) if you were thin?

A recent study revealed that many women would give up a year of of their lives to be thin.
Another study discovered that most women would give up sex to be thin.

In April, the New York Times, reported on a new, disgusting trend. Women, mostly brides, in a last ditch effort to be thinner (and therefore in their perception: more beautiful on their wedding day, make that special day happier, etc.) have resorted to feeding tubes.

At first, I was shocked. I remember being inpatient for my eating disorder. One of the sweetest little girls I have ever met, greeted me at the facility’s entrance. Alicia became a quick confidant and encourager for  me. But it was hard to look at her without crying. Alicia was 12, but she had stopped growing when she was about 5. Because of her refusal to eat and seeming determination to starve herself, Alicia wore a feeding tube. This disfiguring device looked just like it sounds. A long tube ran up her nose into her stomach. It was taped in various places down her little body until it attached to a pole, nearly twice her height, where hung a plastic bag of liquid nutrients. Everywhere little Alicia went – to counseling sessions, to watch TV, on pass into the the little town nearby, to bed, to worship – everywhere, her tube went along.

Now, imagine a grown woman, preparing for her wedding day, strapped up with a feeding tube. A little more visually appealing, these brides carry around a purse with their “food” bag instead of Alicia’s pole. Nonetheless, they have a rubber tube snaking up the side of their face, through their nose and into their stomach – to supply them with starvation’s subsistence – a mere 800 calories.How far have we fallen?

Here are some other facts for your consideration:

2/3 of dieters regain the weight they lost within about 4 years of any diet

About 44% of women admit to being on a diet at any given moment

And guess what! Despite all our paranoia, drastic measures, social mores, fitness obsessions, fad diets and self help books, political intervention and endorsement – despite all these things, recently an advocacy group reported that by 2030, more than half of the population in the majority of states will be considered obese. So, apparently, our strategy isn’t working.

Happily, there’s a small, underground minority that is working hard to reverse the trend. Have you heard of Intuitive Eating? Sounds interesting and logical, doesn’t it?

How about a new book, by Greg Archer, whose provocative title (albeit accurate) I’ll encourage you to check into yourself.

Another wonderful person whom I consider a champion of this movement toward reprioritizing our weight, our diet, our life goals, is Emily Wierenga.  It was a recent article on her blog, Chasing Silhouettes, that launched me onto my soapbox again.

Enjoy her words of wisdom:

No longer [should food be] an object to be feared. It is a necessity to be enjoyed and embraced.  It is another form of communication, another way of sharing in this thing called life, of relating with other humans through a means devoid of words. It is the breaking of bread, which Christ calls us to.

So, as you wisely set health goals, lace up your sneakers, breathe deep during a jog or slice your paring knife through the pale green skin on a tart, fresh apple, wonder : Why am I doing this?

And then do whatever it takes to honestly answer that question with:

So that I might, “present [my] bod[y] as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is [my] spiritual worship. [I will] not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of [my]mind, that by testing [I] may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

First published at: Moms Who TRI Blog, Sept. 18, 2012

Hard-Core Honor

Hard-Core Honor

Marriage is made of promises, from the inaugural seconds of the union between a man and woman.

I, Sinner 1, promise to be true to you, Sinner 2, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

I took some liberties with the vows, but they are nonetheless true of anyone who has ever taken the marriage vow.

Typically, the honeymoon follows where it’s relatively easy to keep those promises. Just two weeks ago, I returned from my little sister’s wedding. She and her husband have been dating for more than seven years. They have kept and broken promises to each other. They have forgiven and overcome bitterness. But as she and I sat on the floor in her living room, just days before she was to take those vows, this sinner felt an urgent need to share with her what I am finding to be the secret to promise keeping.

The secret is one five-letter word hidden in the middle of the marriage vows. Honor. According to Dictionary.com, honor means: honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions. Despite the culture’s clamor for equality, showing honor requires nothing of the sort. My vow to honor my husband is binding on me even if he breaks his vow.

This is a hard pill to swallow and one that many Christians contend. But I offer you two Biblical precedents.

First Samuel 25, tells the story of Abigail. Abigail was married to Nabal, a man the Scripture describes as, “crude, mean, wicked and ill-tempered.” Ultimately, Nabal’s stingy and unjust behavior cost him his life. However, Abigail behaved honorably toward both her husband and those he had offended. We don’t know anything about the earlier years of their marriage, but it’s doubtful that Nabal had ever treated her with honor.

Hosea is the sad story of one man’s marriage to an unfaithful woman. Hosea obeyed the Lord and married a woman who was never faithful to him. In fact, on more than one occasion, God sent Hosea to redeem Gomer from the trouble her promiscuity had gotten her into.

And the Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins” (Hosea 3:1).

These stories tell of the obedient lives of two people who loved God and kept their vows to honor their mates, even when they were not treated with honor. But the verse in Hosea introduces the greatest story of love in the face of dishonor.

God loves us even when we are disobedient. “…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Whether you are preparing to take your marriage vows, or took them years ago, maintain your obedience to Christ.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

We understand that we will face dishonor and unfairness in life, but we generally believe that our spouse should be exception; Our husband or wife should be one person who always honors us, brings us joy, and makes us happy. But when two sinners wed, that can never be the case. A Bible study teacher once stopped me in my tracks with her comment,

God gave you a spouse to make you holy, not to make you happy.”

Published at Start Marriage Right, July 10, 2012